Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[TheCultOfIanTunnacliffe]

From John Laidlar's website...

COOKING THE BOOKS AT NORTHWICH

IC Cheshire reports that "Cash-strapped Northwich Vics were left reeling after their head chef scarpered with £8,000 in takings from a fundraising dinner. Paul Johnstone vanished on Saturday night after one of the club’s biggest fundraising events of the year. The theft was discovered the following morning. Chairman Mike Connett is offering a £1,000 reward for information leading to the crooked cook’s prosecution. Mr Connett said:'It’s a substantial amount, but it’s not about the money – I don’t like a thief. A lot of people have trusted him and this is for them'. Police believe Johnstone, who also goes by the name Paul Kempthorn, lied about his identity from the day he was taken on in March. After the investigation was launched officers discovered Johnstone had never lived at the address he had given when he took the job. He claimed to be 27, but also gave a date of birth in 1973. Det Sgt Simon Newell, of Northwich Specialist Investigation Unit, said: 'We think he’s given false details from the outset. He’s gained the trust of the staff there and he had the keys to the safe. We are satisfied an offence has taken place and that this person is responsible. But we need to identify who he is'". Police are reportedly searching for a man wearing a tall white hat and an apron.

[thegazelle]

wish it was me, he is def in for a pint off me


if i had of run away with the money it would have made me more popular round here than asking if we are going on the train to northwich or discussing old music
dont suppose the person/s who peaked me wants to chat about it face to face

can understand someone having a dig if they disagree with an opinion i was only trying to start a chat

my name is pete carroll i maybe there on boxing day if i am lucky but will be there on new years day if you fancy a chat over a pint if you think i am wrong, i am buying

[markecky]

Has no one noticed the again understated brilliance of John Laidlar in that report?

[Mrs Warbouys]

[teasybeaver]

He sphinx he's got away with it!

[Jenga]

Mike Connet in a tall white hat and apron - i can see it now.

[Jezza]

What's the betting the chef was merely taking his wages that were owed to him?

[Jezza]

Some cracking replies at http://www.nvfc.co.uk/board/index.php?topic=1641.15

Proving any punning Mr laidlar can do the vics fans at least can have a stab at.

[Ballers]

Has no one noticed the again understated brilliance of John Laidlar in that report?

Totally.

Coffee keyboard spat over.

[thegazelle]

Class from mr laidlar

 and indeed crass from the gazelle in the same thread, a lesson in not posting whilst katyed up and in a bad mood with the welsh tw@ts that work for me.

by the way are the trains running on new yers day? it says they is on national raail enquiries. 11.53 from hale anyone?

[rafo]

I Have Just Thought Of A Song:

Mike Connet Is Fuc**n Brass, His Chef's Fuc**d Off With All The Cash!!

De Der Der Da Da, Der Der Da Da.

I'l Get Me Coat!!!

[bighairedmike]

Hark now hear the alty sing, the v*cs chef ran away, with 8 grand of the clubs money because he hadnt been paid!!