www.altyfans.co.uk
General Category => Altrincham FC First Team => Topic started by: Darren on October 26, 2014, 02:38:33 PM
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Anymore you like to add
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29743332
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Fans shouting about off-side when they're stood behind the goal.
Talking about the 'last man rule'.
Getting upset about a footballer moving clubs to get more money.
Fans posting about games they didn't go to.
The whole 'not celebrating scoring a goal against a former club'.
Contrived celebrations, especially that baby rocking thing.
The weird rule that if a striker gets a shot off, or a winger crosses the ball in, a foul is never given regardless of how late the challenge is.
Footballers not actually putting the ball in the quadrant when they take a corner.
Long lists of general moans by internet tossers.
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Music after goals.
Drums.
Strikers wearing number 2 or 5 or defenders wearing 10 or 11. Wear proper numbers for your position!
Queuing for food/drinks while the game is still going on and moaning about not being able to see properly.
Trying to steal half a yard at fthrow-ins.
Referees tediously showing where the ball should be put and then allowing the player to obviously move it closer to goal and doing nothing.
Internet forums.
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Parents who name their sons after former Fulham players/Coventry City managers/Match of The Day presenters.
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Giving over 1/3 of the popular side to 45 away fans so that the poor cherubs don't risk getting wet.
Uneducated TV pundits who make no effort to do any research into foreign teams.
TV pundits who make statements such as "he was fully entitled to go down there" following a challenge in the box.
Supporters who support a team that has no relation to where they live eg London Alty
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People having an opinion on football unless they have played at the very highest level
Teasing people
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Miserable sods on fans forums who incessently moan like fishwives
Wayno
Jenga
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Miserable sods on fans forums who incessently moan like fishwives
Wayno
Jenga
were just old moaning bastards these days xx
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Roy Keane
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Needing a license to photograph matches, which you can only obtain from shooting matches or being a club photographer #Catch22
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Rule changes
Not having a keeper on the subs bench
Fergie time
Fergie
Fergies son
Fergies sons wife
West Ham
All seater stadia
Fellaini wigs
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Short sleeve shirts with long sleeve vests underneath them
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'They put in a good shift'.
'He had a good day at the office'.
FFS What's wrong with 'they played brilliantly/really well'? 'What a fabulousstunning game he had'.
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Or even
'What a fabulous/stunning game he had'.
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Being too tired to play football twice a week for £20,000
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Barnet Football Club.
Policing at football matches.
Stuart Terry taking penalties.
Their not being a club from Cambridge in our league this season.
The Conference North Facebook page.
Playing Woking on a Tuesday night.
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Players , managers, fans, pundits. Commentators. The human race who say that such and such gave110%.... No they didn't it ain't bloody possible.
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Threads on Fan's Forums entitled 'Footballl No-nos'
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Being too tired to play football twice a week for £20,000
Top top post Sir.
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Being too tired to play football twice a week for £20,000
Top top post Sir.
On that theme, managers who complain that playing sat-tues-sat counts as 3 games per week.. No it doesn't it's 2 games per week.
Also, games in the premier league don't "come thick and fast" over Christmas - you play 3 or 4 games in 10-12 days and always have done for years before Sky invented football in 1992.
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Frank Sinclair
Forest Green Rovers
David Birch
Steve Evans
People who think goalkeepers are still subject to the "6 second rule"
Pundits who think we're Altrincham Town and play at the Moss Rose
Clubs who don't give concessionary rates to OAP's (Nuneaton Town, hang your heads in shame !)
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The Premier League
The 'Champions' League
Technical areas with more people than at some Evo Stik games.
All seater stadia
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FA Cup on TV with commentators obsessed with what other job the players have
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Fans shouting about off-side when they're stood behind the goal.
Talking about the 'last man rule'.
Getting upset about a footballer moving clubs to get more money.
Fans posting about games they didn't go to.
The whole 'not celebrating scoring a goal against a former club'.
Contrived celebrations, especially that baby rocking thing.
The weird rule that if a striker gets a shot off, or a winger crosses the ball in, a foul is never given regardless of how late the challenge is.
Footballers not actually putting the ball in the quadrant when they take a corner.
Long lists of general moans by internet tossers.
You forgot sh*t puns ;)
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The replacement of 'set pieces' with 'set plays' by C4 NFL obsessives in the late 80s
Penalty shoot outs are not 'a lottery', they are taking penalties
People who moan about there being no characters now - and then moan about players who give an opinion
Grimbsy and Luton chairmen 1979
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(http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/altywidow/10685768_10205422506305121_7902133503451889868_n.jpg)
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People who think goalkeepers are still subject to the "6 second rule"
Indirect free kick
An indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing team if a goalkeeper, inside his own penalty area, commits any of the following four offences:
controls the ball with his hands for more than six seconds before releasing it from his possession
touches the ball again with his hands after he has released it from his possession and before it has touched another player
touches the ball with his hands after it has been deliberately kicked to him by a team-mate
touches the ball with his hands after he has received it directly from a throw-in taken by a team-mate
Read more at http://www.thefa.com/football-rules-governance/laws/football-11-11/law-12---fouls-and-misconduct.aspx#hrmPYVoDFBU8Iiwd.99
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(http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/altywidow/10685768_10205422506305121_7902133503451889868_n.jpg)
He looks a right lady garden to be honest.
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The 'Champions' League
This. How can 2 of the favorites to win the 'Champions League' this season finished 3rd in their leagues (Chelsea and Real Madrid). Just revert back to calling it the European Cup.
Also include commentators/pundits who were mediocre players, but think they know everything about the game (Townsend, Mark Bright and Jason Roberts spring to mind).
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Miserable sods on fans forums who incessently moan like fishwives
Wayno
Jenga
Blatantly posting aggressive behavour on a football fans forum to "just get a reaction". Admins please ban this guy.
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Glenn Hoddle being and expert 'all of a sudden' on how England should play.........didn't he have his own go at this before some divine intervention caused his resignation ?
Brian Clough being dead and not on telly anymore
Which reminds me..........Leeds United and B*llend Road
Brand new Manchester City shirts seen recently on middle aged Irishmen when in Spanish pubs .........thought they all supported Celtic or Manchester United
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Miserable sods on fans forums who incessently moan like fishwives
Wayno
Jenga
Blatantly posting aggressive behavour on a football fans forum to "just get a reaction". Admins please ban this guy.
people double bluffing a bluffer
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Miserable sods on fans forums who incessently moan like fishwives
Wayno
Jenga
Blatantly posting aggressive behavour on a football fans forum to "just get a reaction". Admins please ban this guy.
people double bluffing a bluffer
People going dogging in Torquay instead of watching the match.... Oh no that hasnt happened yet :o
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People who think that hitting the post/crossbar counts as a shot on target.
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Our chairman's interview being shortened to a quick soundbite due to the car-crash TV at Blackpool
and
No mention of us whatsoever on the first round draw
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Our chairman's interview being shortened to a quick soundbite due to the car-crash TV at Blackpool
and
No mention of us whatsoever on the first round draw
Are you really bothered that we didn't get a mention? North west tonight gave us good coverage to be fair.
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Clubs that change their badge / crest for no apparent reason - quite a few in this category.
Clubs that put stars above their shirts for no apparent reason - see Manchester City
Non-League managers who wear suits
this guys:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B04170LIMAA6hIk.jpg:large)
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People who think that hitting the post/crossbar counts as a shot on target.
Or people who say that hitting the woodwork is unlucky. It's not unlucky, it's an inaccurate shot.
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Clubs that change their badge / crest for no apparent reason - quite a few in this category.
Clubs that put stars above their shirts for no apparent reason - see Manchester City
Non-League managers who wear suits
this guys:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B04170LIMAA6hIk.jpg:large)
What a total spanner.
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People who think that hitting the post/crossbar counts as a shot on target.
Or people who say that hitting the woodwork is unlucky. It's not unlucky, it's an inaccurate shot.
Bit harsh this one IMO
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What really gets on my tits is that chant which goes to the tune of the bassline of that infernal White Stripes song.
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People who think that hitting the post/crossbar counts as a shot on target.
Or people who say that hitting the woodwork is unlucky. It's not unlucky, it's an inaccurate shot.
Bit harsh this one IMO
Not really. You may as well hit the corner flag as hit the woodwork.
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Andy Townsend
Harry Redknapp
Harry Redknapp's idiot son
That advert with Ray Winstone (still don't get why they allow adverts featuring people who cannot speak properly just like those I just mentioned can't
Pundits, Summarisers and Commentators who haven't taken the trouble to learn the Laws of the Game and make themselves look even bigger arses by talking crap about Refereeing decisions
Folk who call them Referees Assistants when they are Assistant Referees
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I'm gonna say Roy Keane again!
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Andy Townsend
Harry Redknapp
Harry Redknapp's idiot son
That advert with Ray Winstone (still don't get why they allow adverts featuring people who cannot speak properly just like those I just mentioned can't
Pundits, Summarisers and Commentators who haven't taken the trouble to learn the Laws of the Game and make themselves look even bigger arses by talking crap about Refereeing decisions
Folk who call them Referees Assistants when they are Assistant Referees
There is absolutely no difference.
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Andy Townsend
Harry Redknapp
Harry Redknapp's idiot son
That advert with Ray Winstone (still don't get why they allow adverts featuring people who cannot speak properly just like those I just mentioned can't
Pundits, Summarisers and Commentators who haven't taken the trouble to learn the Laws of the Game and make themselves look even bigger arses by talking crap about Refereeing decisions
Folk who call them Referees Assistants when they are Assistant Referees
They're linesmen at the end of the day.
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Andy Townsend
Harry Redknapp
Harry Redknapp's idiot son
That advert with Ray Winstone (still don't get why they allow adverts featuring people who cannot speak properly just like those I just mentioned can't
Pundits, Summarisers and Commentators who haven't taken the trouble to learn the Laws of the Game and make themselves look even bigger arses by talking crap about Refereeing decisions
Folk who call them Referees Assistants when they are Assistant Referees
(http://images.radiotimes.com/namedimage/Gareth_Keenan_won_t_be_enjoying_Life_on_the_Road_with_David_Brent__says_Mackenzie_Crook.jpg?quality=85&mode=crop&width=620&height=374&404=tv&url=/uploads/images/original/57107.jpg)
Gareth: I'm assistant regional manager.
David Brent: Assistant to the regional manager.
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Consecutive tedious away draws :)
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People who think that hitting the post/crossbar counts as a shot on target.
Or people who say that hitting the woodwork is unlucky. It's not unlucky, it's an inaccurate shot.
Bit harsh this one IMO
Not really. You may as well hit the corner flag as hit the woodwork.
See where you're coming from with this. Like being one number away from each of the six lottery numbers and saying it was close....maybe
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See where you're coming from with this. Like being one number away from each of the six lottery numbers and saying it was close....maybe
Abso-bloody-exactly! :)
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See where you're coming from with this. Like being one number away from each of the six lottery numbers and saying it was close....maybe
Abso-bloody-exactly! :)
So I take it a goal that goes in off the post/bar is lucky then?
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See where you're coming from with this. Like being one number away from each of the six lottery numbers and saying it was close....maybe
Abso-bloody-exactly! :)
So I take it a goal that goes in off the post/bar is lucky then?
Of course it's not lucky, because a shot that goes in off the post is on-target and therefore a good shot.
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Football hipsters
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See where you're coming from with this. Like being one number away from each of the six lottery numbers and saying it was close....maybe
Abso-bloody-exactly! :)
So I take it a goal that goes in off the post/bar is lucky then?
Of course it's not lucky, because a shot that goes in off the post is on-target and therefore a good shot.
Methinks you doth quibble too much
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Methinks you doth quibble too much
It was only a bit of fun on a football forum, I wasn't planning to sue anyone.
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Match of the Day. Go back through the decades when there was a game from just about every division each week and I was entertained. Given the saturation coverage of the Premier League it's just too much. Over the past few years I've missed more and more programmes...so far this season I've seen none. Dull as ditch water.
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Methinks you doth quibble too much
It was only a bit of fun on a football forum, I wasn't planning to sue anyone.
It was only a bit of Shakespeare and neither was I planning on suing. However, given your response, I am rethinking my original position. Good day to you sir.
;)
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:)
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See where you're coming from with this. Like being one number away from each of the six lottery numbers and saying it was close....maybe
Abso-bloody-exactly! :)
So I take it a goal that goes in off the post/bar is lucky then?
Of course it's not lucky, because a shot that goes in off the post is on-target and therefore a good shot.
See what I mean..
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If the shot bounces off post or crossbaris deemed in commentaryspeak to have been "saved by the woodwork" then any goal that goes in off the frame should be classed as a shocking error by the infrastructure.
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If the shot bounces off post or crossbaris deemed in commentaryspeak to have been "saved by the woodwork" then any goal that goes in off the frame should be classed as a shocking error by the infrastructure.
;D
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i would like to add another adverts as the teams shake hands and the phrase after setting up the game back in a couple of minutes
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That silly tiny box BT use to continue the match action whilst they watch a replay