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[Ashley Alty]

On 5 Live this morning, the whinging Chelsea fans have been banned from chucking celery and the Shrewsbury fans were inconceivably  chastised for lobbing weetabix - what is this country up to?

Every English person has a right to throw vegetables or products therefrom derived.

There used to be the necessary appartus in the Old Market Place for such public activity

What say right minded Alty fans? (wrong minded, stay out of this)

They'll be making inflatable celery next - not as healthy .........

Man City fans have resurrected their old inflatable banans (ooh that reminds me of what I need to do today in readiness for half time tomorrow)

Celery is harmless, good for you, eating it gives you minus calories, it's pretty and no salad is complete without it - Chelski - pah! 

[gazwarrington]

Ohh inflatables, Drums, Jester Hats and music after goals .. The football fan has really improved over the years

[teasybeaver]

Ohh inflatables, Drums, Jester Hats and music after goals .. The football fan has really improved over the years

A la Stalybridge Celtic!

BOOM BOOM BOOM, LET ME HEAR YA SAY WEYOOOOO!!!!!

Worth conceding a goal for, even if it did practically send us down!

[gazwarrington]

BOOM BOOM BOOM, LET ME HEAR YA SAY WEYOOOOO!!!!!

Yes that is the most annoying sound ever, and we got to hear it quite alot at the Bower Fold.

[markecky]

Anyone remember the inflatable robins Alty did in 1991

If someone still had one of those I'd be so impressed!

[AltyTunnelSteward]

Sorry but bunging at folk is the only thing that Celery is any use for whatsoever.

Down with Vegetables and anything else Green (NVFC, Forest GREEN Rovers et al)

[gazwarrington]

I do enjoy that very good reason for hating your Greens

Although like me it looks like you have hated your greens long before Forest GREEN Rovers.

Thank Good they are not called Forest 'Fast Food' Rovers, then we'd be knackered.

[AltyTunnelSteward]

Very True Gaz,

Just been down to the Oxford Road Campus where they are giving away free Rustlers products.

The rationale for this is that when Students come in from a night on the beer they're always hungry. In an attempt to assuage this hunger, and given the unacceptability of Fried Chicken Emporia, they may be tempted to utilise either the Grill, the Frying Pan or the Chip Pan, fall into a drunker stupor and cause a fire.

With the Rustlers you just stick it in the microwave for 70 seconds (this being well within even the drunkest students attention span) and there is no risk of conflagration (just food poisoning, furred up arteries, burnt mouth and throat etc)

I beg the marketing exec who dreamed that one up is giggling all the way to the pub

[Ashley Alty]

ATS - Peaked for the anti-veg stance and I have presumed also fruit therefore, cake ration withdrawn.  Cult may well get your piece for the lovely Mrs. Cult's consumption.

How can we make Alty fans the healthiest in the Conference with comments like your's especially in your lofty position within our great football club?  Little fans look up to your esteemed status for guidance and role modelling ( ).  I think Maria should stock only veg-steak barms, brown barms, salad barms, apples, oranges and of course celery sticks with parsnip and beetroot crisps. 

Chips = veg, granted.  However, you should be setting standards, Mr. Taylor and perhaps you wouldn't have as many visits to the quack if you'd consumed greens in your youth.

Will I get all my supplies confiscated tomorrow I wonder (sawn-off shot gun, cake-brick, celery..........)

 

[Ashley Alty]

Phil said:

Sorry but bunging at folk is the only thing that Celery is any use for whatsoever.

Does this mean we can throw celery tomorrow then?   
Head of Safety said so

[AltyTunnelSteward]

I would wish to immediately and forthwith withdraw my previous comments about fruit, vegetables etc.

I was temporarily mentally disturbed by a deficit of Vitamins C & D due to my highly irresponsible dietary habits.

I am now, thanks to Parkin Baker, once more reminded of my responsibilities toward ALL Alty Supporters and am therefore (I hope) suitably contrite

Can I have my rations reinstated now pretty please??? 

[AltyTunnelSteward]

Parkin Baker,

I will ensure that your supplies are not confiscated tomorrow AND if I can have my rations reinstated you can throw Dennis Birch tomorrow never mind Celery

[Ashley Alty]

Ok as long as the celery gets in AND I can also throw David Birch?  So that my mates and I can have a "Birch-free" match in positivity as to the fantastic result against ye olde home town and debate the relativity of precipitation and golly goshing?

P.S.  It might be easier to use the rocket launcher on the Birches as celery might wilt over night and the precipitation levels may not enable it to become turgid 

[AltyTunnelSteward]

If it means that I have my privileges restored every effort will be made to accommodate your desires