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[Narcissist]

Yesterday I watched the BBC live update page in agony as a typical alty implosion unfolded before my irregularly updated eyes. I was softened by the thoughts that this kind of result is normal for us and usually means we'll take something on Monday. So I tucked my tail between my legs and calmly woddled on to Stade du Ray to watch Nice v Montpellier for my fix of 'live action'.

I felt compelled to explain this after seeing the Luton fans reaction to a 0-0 draw (c0cks).

I arrived in Stade du Ray 5 mins after kick-off due to intense security around the ground. I had forgot that in French terms Nice v Montpellier is a sort of derby, in the sense that they are within 4 hours drive of each other, and even more so, on the same train track allowing for an 'ultras special' to be laid on. Not to mention the rest that come on the 'normals'. Basically the stadium was surrounded by robocop lookalikes, all to contain 500 feisty Montpellier ultras. Bizarre I thought,.....at first. The moral to this, is if you get in the ground late you will, inevitably miss a goal. To my unsuprise Nice were already 1-0 down.

The first half progressed without incident. My ticket is behind one of the goals, the away fans in the corner to my left and the main Nice ultras 'Brigade Sud Nice' at the opposite end out of harms way. The Montpellier mob were impressive, about 400-500 in number and all bare chested and waving flags/flares/t-shirts and non-stop singing. The second half began and within minutes Montpellier were 2-0 up. Following a 4-0 defeat at Bordeaux last week Nice fans are in uproar about lack of investment from the board. Bizarrely I agree with them, Nice is the most corrupt city in modern Europe and football is no exception.

60 minutes in and I have almost literally sh1t my pants on cue. The Montpellier fans have just thrown an Air Bomb on the pitch big enough to actually blow a hole in the ground. Its equal in size to a firework that allegedly rafo once allegedly blew an alleged phone box up with...allegedly. The ref immediately orders players off the pitch. Play is delayed for 25 minutes whilst the ref composes himself and changes shorts. Thankfully the montpellier bomb didnt harm anyone. However robocop and his 200 twin brothers did storm the away end and usher them out of the ground before play resumed. The Montpellier fans didnt just walk out though, and actually it took another ten minutes to usher them out despite the tour de force from a load of steroid happy french fellas in uniform.

And now it gets weird....the Nice ultras take the side of the away fans. To them its ludicrous to eject a set of ultras merely for blowing up the pitch in a moment of excitement. A similar incident the season before led to some flare wielding 'BSN' members being jailed for a couple of years so they are a bit narked at the old bill. In protest they sat down, didnt chant another song all game, except to cheer for Montpelliers third goal as they romped home 3-0 winners. Following the 3rd goal (with 20+ minutes to go) minimum 60% of the crowd walked out. The 40% who stayed, with the exception of me, spent 20 minutes slagging off the players to the extent that they jeered a substitute for the home team and cheered one for the opposition as a former player went off.

Ugly scenes at the end as the managers head was called for on large scale after just four games. They won the first and drew the 2nd. Lost the 3rd to a champions league team who won the league last season and had an off night which included an explosion on the pitch for the 4th.

You dont get this at the Giant Axe I can tell you. By christ I miss watching Alty!

[taxi Phil]

I think I'd be tempted to pass up "my share of live action" if it amounted to what you describe ! It's precisely why I have a Sky Sports package, and watch honest football (most of the time anyway) at Moss Lane.

[Narcissist]

Ive never seen anything like it, and even a few days later cant believe what i saw at certain points.

One thing I must stress though is that these people are not hooligans. The ultras here are not the same as the idiots who try to wreck upton park and fight with each other like dimented chimps. Violence does exist in French football, but no worse than any other country in Europe. The ultras are a strong symbol of support for the club, unlike in other countries, violence is not part of their remit, in fact most hooligans are not ultras per se, they just tag along at big games with a few exceptions.

By 'Live action' I meant the act of kicking a ball around, not the type that danny dyer chases around like a schlepper.