This was written for last Saturday's programme (and compiled before Dalton's unexpected departure).
I hope it raises a smile or two during what has been a rather depressing week for the Alty faithful.
No doubt George Heslop's lawyer is already preparing his writ (again)....
ALTRINCHAM FC CHRISTMAS PANTOMIME 2007
Following on from last year’s critically acclaimed production of Jack and the Beanstalk (which starred the legendary Ian Tunnacliffe as the Giant and Peter Thomson as the Beanstalk), I am delighted to reveal that this year’s Altrincham FC Christmas pantomime will be CINDERELLA.
Allow me to unveil an exclusive preview of the cast list:
Cinderella: Graham Heathcote
Buttons: Dalton Steele
Baron Hardup: Geoff Goodwin
The Wicked Stepmother: Colin Peake
First Ugly Sister: George Heslop
Second Ugly Sister: Phil Taylor
The Fairy Godmother: Carole Nash
Prince Charming: Lee Ashcroft of Kendal Town
Dandini: Grahame Rowley
Eucharistic Minister: Brian Flynn
Mice: Chris Senior, Steve Aspinall and Foz
Glass Coach Supplier: Go Goodwin’s
Glass Coach Transport Co-ordinator: Ecky
Footmen on Glass Coach: Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne
Glass Slippers Supplier: Jacqui Forster
Giant Pumpkin: Tony Kelly
Heckler at Ball: Dennis Birch
Cabaret Act at Ball: Marcus Hallows
Raffle ticket seller at Ball: Barry Pond
Raffle winner at Ball: Brian Flynn
Unauthorised Foreign Dignitary at Ball: James Robinson
Gatecrasher at Ball: Angus Loughran/Statto
Non-speaking Extra at Ball: Justin Bowler
Narrator: Rafo
Radio Reporter: Brian Flynn
Scriptwriter: John Laidlar
Set Designer/Builder: Warren Peyton
Costume Designer: Ian Senior
Costume Maintenance: Jenny Heslop
George Heslop’s stunt double: Brad Pitt
Phil Taylor’s stunt double: Angelina Jolie.
(Setanta Sports were due to broadcast a ‘live’ performance of this theatrical show but, apparently, they have now opted to cover Oxford United’s pantomime instead).
Right, I’m now heading off to secure the urgent services of a barrister who specialises in defending libel suits…..
Happy New Year to all those who love Altrincham FC.