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[taxi Phil]

He could even CARRY one of the buckets......

[Dougals Dad]

The letter now on line www.thisistrafford.co.uk

I WRITE to ask Alty FC to get their act together when collecting funds to ‘save our Squad’ next season.

As a season ticket holder for 10 years I have enjoyed the cut and thrust that is Blue Square football.

My bone of contention is the half-time SOS bucket collection.

This is collected by a bunch of enthusiastic youngsters who follow one another around, similar to an u10 football team who have no understanding of spreading out and passing the ball.

These lads, likewise, do an excellent job in missing vast numbers of fans who would otherwise be happy to throw loose change into a bucket.

By the time you realise that they are close by and you find your change, they have moved on. No amount of ‘hey, hold on a moment’ will bring them back.

During the close season is a perfect time for them to sort out their tactics, so that next season those involved can make a sensible contribution to the club funds.

Thereby helping Alty FC to achieve the glory it richly deserves.

Desmond Nockin, Brooklands

Bull Mr Nockin. EVERY time I have asked a collector to hold on a mo he or she has!

FACT

[York Alty]

Dear Mr. Nockin,

To avoid any future upset with you not being able to throw your spare change into the half-time collection buckets, I hereby enlose a Direct Debit mandate in favour of Altrincham FC.  If you fill in the amount you would like to give and return it to the club we will make sure you neve miss another opportunity.

Best Wishes

Altrincham F.C

[markecky]

His letter is now on the frontpage of the Messenger website....http://www.messengernewspapers.co.uk/

Not only should these lads resign, I think they should consider emigrating for the shame they have brought to our club.

[Alty FC Idol]

Just working on my letter of resignation..... Niall has gone a step further and is moving to Newcastle to get away from it all, he says its for Uni but thats just a cover up.

Deepest Apologies...

[altyf]

Dear Mr Nockin,

May I first reciprocate Dan’s comment in offering my deepest apologies for our shambolic and lacklustre performance last season in collecting money for Altrincham FC. After analysing the past year it has become quite clear that our zonal tactics were both unsatisfactory and poorly executed and I hope Dan will look to address this for the coming season when I’m sure he will favour a man-marking approach.

As stated above, I will be moving to Newcastle next year, as I feel I can no longer show my face at Moss Lane after my embarrassing attempt to raise funds for the club. I may look towards a course in languages at the University to keep myself entertained, but I can assure you that the overall objective of the move is to establish a new outlook which will enable me to improve my future performance and to gain invaluable experience before I return as an accomplished fund-raiser with a brand new ethos.

I will also be embarking upon a trip to this year’s world cup to ensure I stay fully focused and hopefully pick up some great tips from the world renowned bucket collectors of South Africa.

Once again I am sorry for the misery we have caused, but may I suggest that next season you move into a more prominent position within the arena at half-time to enable you to donate to the SOS scheme.

Regards,
Niall Flynn
Joint vice bucket collector

[York Alty]

Dear Niall,

Thank you for your letter dated 10/05/10.  My client, Mr. Nockin, has instructed me as his agent, to reply. 

Your resignation is not only accepted but my client feels it is frankly your own viable option.  You have no mandate to continue as a bucket collector.  Furthermore my client expects that neither he, nor other supporters of Altrincham Football Club, will be in anyway subsidising the cost of your ongoing education, be it in Newcastle or at The Bucket Collection University of Pietmaritzburg, South Africa.

In the meantime my client assures you that should he see any further examples of unacceptable behaviour involving buckets at Moss Lane, he will raise the matter with his Member of Parliament, and the lead singer of Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

Regards

[Jezza]

A victory at last for the Flynn out brigade! lmao

[taxi Phil]

Personally I just feel the whole issue is beyond the pail.............................

[bighairedmike]

To be honest, York Alty's letter of acceptance doesn't, for me anyway, hold any water...

[(S)ALTY]

To be honest, York Alty's letter of acceptance doesn't, for me anyway, hold any water...

All together now ..

'There's hole in my bucket Dear Liza Dear Liza.. !!'

(I bet anyone under the age of 40 doesn't have a clue what I'm on about ? ) - Jennifer's Dad help me out ?

[bighairedmike]

I got you on that one. And I'm under 40. 

There seems to be a trend with these collection jokes and i think its now about time to buck it.


Right, thats it. I'm going.

[Stockportalty]

Is Niall thinking of taking his bucket collecting skills to Gateshead's ground, he might learn a thing or two there about working in a big stadia. - With hardly any people in it.

[Dougals Dad]

To be honest, York Alty's letter of acceptance doesn't, for me anyway, hold any water...

All together now ..

'There's hole in my bucket Dear Liza Dear Liza.. !!'

(I bet anyone under the age of 40 doesn't have a clue what I'm on about ? ) - Jennifer's Dad help me out ?

I remember the incessently long, repetitive & annoying song - I'll probably have it going through my head all day until Fifi & The Flowertots comes on!

What was the name of the boy in the song tho?

[DT]

To be honest, York Alty's letter of acceptance doesn't, for me anyway, hold any water...

All together now ..

'There's hole in my bucket Dear Liza Dear Liza.. !!'

(I bet anyone under the age of 40 doesn't have a clue what I'm on about ? ) - Jennifer's Dad help me out ?

I remember the incessently long, repetitive & annoying song - I'll probably have it going through my head all day until Fifi & The Flowertots comes on!

What was the name of the boy in the song tho?

Dear Henry I think!