The Guardian, Friday October 3 2008
The following is an edited transcript of Newcastle interim manager Joe
Kinnear's first official press conference yesterday
JK Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
SB Me.
JK You're a c*nt.
SB Thank you.
JK Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are
out of order. Absolutely f*cking out of order. If you do it again, I am
telling you you can f*ck off and go to another ground. I will not come and
stand for that f*cking crap. No f*cking way, lies. sh*t, you're saying I
turned up and they [Newcastle's players] f*cked off.
SB No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?
JK I've f*cking read it, I've read it.
SB It doesn't say that. Have you read it?
JK You are trying to f*cking undermine my position already.
SB Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a
day off.
JK f*ck off. f*ck off. It's your last f*cking chance.
SB You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.
JK What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
SB I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.
JK You are negative b*stardss, the pair of you.
SB So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I
wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and tell him I am taking
the first day off?
JK It is none of your f*cking business. What the f*ck are you going to do?
You ain't got the balls to be a f*cking manager. f*cking day off. Do I want
your opinion. Do I have to listen to you?
SB No, you can listen to who you want.
JK I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.
SB Joe, you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or
Saturday night.
JK No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.
SB What? More important things?
JK What are you? My personal secretary? f*ck off.
SB You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday. You could have
had them watching videos, you could have organised them.
JK I was meeting the f*cking chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking
about things.
SB It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.
JK I can't trust any of you.
Niall Hickman Joe, no one could believe that on your first day at your new
club, the first-team players were not in. No one could believe it in town.
Your first day in the office.
JK My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to
get as much information out of them.
NH But why Monday, no one could believe it?
JK I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are
coming from. You are delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in
the state they are? Delighted, are you?
NH Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?
JK I have done it before. It is going to my f*cking lawyers. So are about
three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is
going to court. I am not f*cking about. I don't talk to f*cking anybody. It
is raking up stories. You are f*cking so f*cking slimy you are raking up
players that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not
asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren
Barton? No. Because he is f*cking sensible. Anyone who had played for me for
10 years at any level ... [but] you will find some c*nt that ...
Other journalist How long is your contract for Joe?
JK None of your business.
SB Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here
to the end of October, then you say six to eight games which would take it
to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are
getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for. It is a
dead simple question. And you don't know ...
JK I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club
could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I
don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to f*cking
hide, he's trying to do this or that.
There follows an exchange regarding the circumstances under which Kinnear
had met the owner Mike Ashley and executive director (football) Dennis Wise.
Steve Brenner (football writer for the Sun) We are all grown men and can
come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and
calling people c*nts?
JK Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libellous,
it is going to where I want it to go.
Newcastle press officer What has been said in here is off the record and
doesn't go outside.
Journalist Well, is that what Joe thinks?
JK Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't affect me I assure
you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't affect me. See how we go
at Everton and Chrissy [Chris Hughton, assistant manager] can do it, someone
else can do it. Don't trust any of yous. I will pick two local papers and
speak to them and the rest can f*ck off. I ain't coming up here to have the
p*ss taken out of me. I have a million pages of crap that has been written
about me. I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point
in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be
negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players.
I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and
get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something
like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.
Journalist It's only been a week.
JK Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Journalist It's early days for you to be like this.
JK No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to
you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can
do what you like.
Journalist But this isn't going to do you or us any good.
JK I'll speak to the supporters. I'm going to tell them what the story is.
I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I
don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I
mean, one of them last week said to me ... I was talking about in that press
conference where you were there, I said something like "Well, that's a load
of b*llocks ..."
Journalist "b*llocks to that" is what you said.
JK b*llocks to that. And what goes after that?
Journalist That was it.
JK No it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was
your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist I don't know.
JK It even had the cheek to say "b*llocks to Newcastle".
Journalist I didn't write that.
JK That was my first f*ckining day. What does that tell you? What does that
tell you?
Journalist Where was that? Which paper said that?
JK I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday.
It was a Sunday.
Journalist But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That
was during the Monday press conference.
JK I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that?
Journalist Are you saying that someone has reported you saying "b*llocks to
Newcastle?"
JK Yes. Lovely.
Journalist I don't know who's reported that.
JK I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing.
But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of
relationship with you.
JK So have I. But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the p*ss out of
me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't f**king bother me.
I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm
not going to spend any more time listening to any crap or reading any crap.
Stick to the truth and the facts. And don't twist anything.
Journalist You know, you know the game ...
JK Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.
Journalist Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're c*nts,
we can all f*ck off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?
JK Do it. Fine. f*cking print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also
that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.
Much, much later after long discussions over whether Kinnear had promised
Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan would be returning to the club
Press officer Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that
everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and
we're not discussing it.
Journalist But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.
Press officer I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said and
try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?
PO: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference only?
(Silence)
Journalist: Any knocks?
PO: Come on, let's go football.
Journalist: What are your plans for training in the next three days? How's
the training going?
JK It's going very well. No problems at all.
Journalist Enjoyed getting back in the swing of things?
JK Absolutely. I've loved every moment of it.
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Joe Kinnear First Press Meeting (and we think GH has a foul mouth)
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