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[thegazelle]

This is a touchy topic and one needs to be very careful about mixing women and football.
An ex of mine could not understand why i loved the football so much and decided to come along , she came to several games and still couldnt not understaand what i saw in it . Then we played Blackpool away in the cup,  we scored the winner she went crazy and was hooked and from that point and decided to come to most matches . this then somewhat cramped my style for the more boisterous and male orientated side of watching alty culminating when we got to wembley and we decided to mix the trip in with my best mates stag do. A coach from the cheshire mid was booked and the young lady was informed that it was male only (it wasnt ) , causing much anger and shouting . Arrived at the chesh at 7am after big night out for stag do to find her sitting there and duly booked on the coach without me knowing . after warning her that drunken antics and loutish behaviour would ensue I duly spent the day ignoring my fiance and after a fine victory,and a very drunken day out I was celebrating our magnificent cup win whilst standing on a table in the pub leading rousing communal singing when i was met by a hail of empty beer glasses,  said fiance had ovbviosly had enough (of me, not beer) and ran out of pub . i arrived home to find myself locked out and shortly afterwards our relationship ended ,............ phew close shave .

Beware women and football .

on a lighter note , much against my better judgment  i took anothe r girlfriend to a match and she said "arent they good they kick it really high in the air"  says something i think

[robininstockport]

Always bring the wife.

She drives home.

[Jezza]

a great thread with some great stories notably from York Alty.

have to say I'm amazed at some of the stories especially gazelle's coz I use Alty as a decent excuse to get away for a few hours and don't want to spend the entire match explaining "why he didn't just kick it into the net"....

[Hamilton]

The first time I took a girlfriend to ML she asked, about 5 mins in, "Is it the team that scores first wins?"

[Ascot Alty]

Thankfully my mrs hates football, and a lot of the time me as well. Needless to say she will never see an alty game, so she benefits from not seeing either me or football.

I think its the perfect balance. Never once in ten years has it been considered.

I did once go out with a bird who was well into the idea of getting involved in every aspect of my life to get to know the 'real me'. At that tender young age the real me equated to humping her at every opportunty and getting bladdered and watching alty at all other feasible times. She never made it to Moss lane as the 'real me' was considered unsuitable as a boyfriend before we got that far. Shame as she was good at the humping part, but in the long game of life it was a lucky escape.

[SW]

Never to be done again. Some great stories here though and many demons exorcised. A former partner who I spent way too much time with came to a few games with me, in retrospect probably to prevent me from enjoying myself as was her speciality. Some memories, Wycombe, "get me a cup of tea"....."get yourself a cup of tea", tea ended up chucked over me, Barnet, went for a slash, heard a roar then another soon after. Asked what had happened, was told nothing. Turned out we'd got a penalty then scored it. Daft cow didn't notice. Home games consisted of spotting planes, "Ooh look, I wonder where that's been"?
Worst case was when she watched some game on TV and wanted someone to win because "they have the nicest shirts".

Got a new one now, no interest in football at all. The way it should be.

And PS she's lovely

[fuertes]

You lot have got yourself involved with some strange ladies 

[Ascot Alty]

You lot have got yourself involved with some strange ladies 

Dont get me started. One attempted to have me deported from Italy to the UK on the premise that I had stolen her car and got caught speeding in it the day before I left the UK going to an alty away game on the M6. She later told me that she just wanted me back. My poor mother had to deal with the fallout whilst I continued my teenage rampage across the med.

Again, good at the humping part but mad as cheese. I've learnt that these two factors are intrinsically linked. Good at humping = mentally fragile/volatile

[Uncle Globnasty]

Yeah, I'm as keen on Desperate Gypsies in Essex and my good lady is on footy. Dragged her to a few England games over the years and if she can't get up for England v Brazil (and David Bloody Beckham   ) at Wembley then then it's a lost cause, I'm afraid.

Working on the lad now - took him to his first game on Saturday - as mentioned above, there's not a more welcoming family club out there.

Has she taken you to see any desperate gypsies in Essex?

[Uncle Globnasty]

Hmm, my wife hates football with a passion and I only get to watch it on TV if I give her a foot rub whilst watching it (she even complains if I'm apparently not concentrating enough on her feet). Have dragged her over to Alty a few times and she even saw us win 5-1 at St Albans with a wonder goal from Rod Thornley (which she showed some modicum of appreciation for), not enough to convince her though (although she does enjoy the apres match beer and banter). Now she's only interested in coming over with me if she has a friend living nearby or if it's somehwere she'd like to visit (Oxford, York, etc); i.e. she has something else to do other than going to the football.

Actually, I do get to watch Ireland games on TV without her ever since my foul-mouthed outburst at THiefery Henry and his basketball tricks.....and I get to escape to the Ireland home games as I go with her sister's ex boyfriend (whom she apparently trusts more than me).

[RedhillAlty]

My wife came with us to the FA Cup tie at Luton and has complained ever since about the foul language, even suggesting that our boys shouldnt go with me anymore. She was more horrified at the professional positions that some of those Alty fans hold. However I now turn it to my advantage whenever she says that I dont take her anywhere My wife is woman enough not to disagree with me that her place is more appropriate not at a football match but in the kitchen, where for the record she is wonderful.

My wife's latest football complaint was yesterday when we visited the Vallerenga shop in Oslo. Amidst the thousands of football souveniers she noticed flowers dying in a vase next to the till and was shocked that the male assistant didnt realise that he needed to put water in the vase.

[blackpoolalty]

My current girlfriend comes with me now whenever I go to a game. She actually enjoys it and knows about 5 players names. It took about 6 months for her to pronounce Altrincham correctly haha.

I do get told to shut up a lot, especially last week when I sent some abuse to Turley 

[taxi Phil]

M9 Alty's Mum came to quite a few matches when we were courting. South Shields on the coach, and five of us in my Reliant to New Brighton come to mind. Strangely, once I'd actually married her, the interest cooled rapidly.

[markecky]

M9 Alty's Mum came to quite a few matches when we were courting. South Shields on the coach, and five of us in my Reliant to New Brighton come to mind. Strangely, once I'd actually married her, the interest cooled rapidly.

In the football? 

[Alty TV]

Once brought an ex to Moss Lane who promptly sat down on the terraces and spent the whole of the match reading a book.

The current Mrs AltyTV doesn't care much for footy but has never once complained about my obsession. She's never moaned about me getting home much too drunk and much too late after watching Alty and has never uttered those immortal words "It's only a game". She fully understands that it's s big part of my life but (unlike some) and doesn't see Alty as a "threat" - she even shows a vague but supporting interest when I'm editing clips until 2 in the morning....better stop now before I induce a bout of vomiting!