THIS IS A SPOOF MESSAGE AND INTENDED TO TRY AND BRING A BIT OF LEVITY TO PROCEEDINGS IN WHAT IS A SAD TIME FOR THE FOOTBALL CLUB WE SUPPORT.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT WE PROTEST IN OUR OWN WAY AND ALL IS SAID WITH TONGUE FIRMLY IN CHEEK.
Hello to fans of our wonderful football club and to put you at ease please feel free to call me ‘Mr Chairman’, as that makes me feel important. Firstly, I want to quash any worrying rumours that I intend to resign due to the club under-performing. What utter nonsense, for as we all know it is purely a case that the club has previously over performed, as was so eloquently explained in a recent programme article. I do not intend to resign from leading the football club …..I nearly said ‘our’ football club but that might have been a tad misleading …….and I am going to continue to run it ‘my way’, for as one pundit once said ‘why change a winning formula?
For some reason, any real opposition I have had to contend with on the Board seems to have disappeared and I would like to make it clear that it was the recent strategic review and not I, who said ’the Board lacks structure, perceives itself to be weak and divided, and most others have lost confidence in the Board as a collective’. My role will be to continue to inspire them with my leadership.
So let’s quickly move on to look at the footballing facts. Within three years you fans will have been treated to football in three different leagues, with the added bonus that travelling costs to away matches have been considerably reduced. Another example, of the way financial prudence is a feature of our club. For a reputable publication, to say that we are the most unsuccessful team in English soccer under my chairmanship is something that I refuse to comment upon. I am aware that some protestors at my chairmanship walked out of a recent match but these were a small minority of under 25 people in a crowd estimated to be up to 10,000 strong, although exact figures are as yet unconfirmed. On the subject of protest you may feel it strange that I have not seen fit to comment on ‘unknown’ hands taking control of the club Twitter account or allegations that microphones were wrenched away from critical supporters at a public meeting.
So let’s quickly move on again, to another topic; examples of the club’s benevolent community spirit. To date our club has felt it prudent to offer employment to a whole series of managers and through them to a huge number of players, many of whom may otherwise have been unemployed. To date over 50 different players have been provided with employment and have taken to the field in our colours this season and they have already won two league matches. As Brexit is not yet upon us, they even included one from the European Community, who allegedly couldn’t communicate with anybody…....... certainly not a problem under my watch!
Finally, I want you to feel re-assured that all is fine; my leadership will continue, the Board will continue and under my guidance will comment more positively about itself at the next Strategic Review and green shoots will continue to be seen popping up everywhere. On our present path it is even possible that we will have more people employed as footballers, than actually come to watch them? This will ensure a huge saving on ground staff and be reflected in our economic progress, which as we all know, is the envy of other non-league teams, even those in a lot higher divisions.
I thing that deserves a little tune….’I did it My Way’
Best regards
The Chairman