More quality:
"My little girl wanted to go on a Dumbo ride in which 2 people get in and the ride goes round and round and you have a little stick that you can go up and down, anyway I'm in the disabled line when this f**kin salad dodger is in front of us on a scooter, he's about 35, 25 stone and obviously had a season ticket for McDonalds!! He's got a T shirt on claiming "I'm not Lazy I just can't be bothered doing anything" I can tell straightaway there's nothing wrong with him, maybe it's because I'm a scouser and we can smell a bullsh*tter a mile off. Anyway he gets off the scooter waddles over to the ride, sits in it on his own, he can't even go on with his kid because he just about fits in the 2 seater ride by himself, so I said to Jayne "Poor f**king Dumbos ears will be flapping like mad getting this fella off the ground""
Even my missus laughed at this!