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[highwayman]

I need help....I probably need counselling...maybe even therapy.

I have been so looking forward to the start of the new season.

I've bought my season ticket. I've been to all the (home) pre-season friendlies. I've enjoyed seeing the new siginings and assessing the traillists.

And now I feel suicidal! My balloon of pre-season optimism has been well and truly pricked...by my wife!

Yesterday, because of this appalling so-called Summer we are having, she went down to Albany Travel by the railway bridge on Moss Lane and she booked us a last minute getaway holiday in Crete, flying out on....

.... FRIDAY 10th AUGUST ....

THE DAY BEFORE THE BIG KICK-OFF!!!!!!!!

I am distraught.

I am inconsolable.

Oh, what am I to do?

Fellow Alty Fans, please help?

Have you been in a similar situation with your wife ? (or if yoiu are a fellow female Alty Fan, then your husband or come to think of it in this day and age, it could be your wife!)

How did you resolve it? How did you reconcile the conflicts of interest?

I am going to be in a void for a whole week, that's three games (Exeter, Halifax and Forest Green). Let's face it, the chances of the Cretan Times covering the Blue Square Conference Premier are diddly squit!

We could be riding high after three games or....perish the thought - no, I can't contemplate it!

Oh, the anguish!

Damn you, football season. Why do you have to start in the second week of August? - right in the middle of the peak holiday season. Why can't you go back to starting in September, like in the old days when the Football and Cricket seasons were mutually exclusive.

Please help?

[teasybeaver]

Greek isles are just in range for the sky sattelite, its inevitable there will be a traditional greek bar in your resort that has all the classic greek atmosphere. Such traditions will include; Full English Breakfasts, Scampi & Chips, Karaoke, Guiness, Happy Hour and most importantly Sky Sports, showing all live games and of course the Legendary show that is Soccer Saturday (the mainstay of my weekend in France).

Anyone who's been to Greece recently will confirm the frequency of these 'traditional greek tavernas'!

What you have to do is sidle up there and befriend the local barman, letting him know you support the world famous Alty and they will bend over backwards to get the results for you. Meanwhile get the mrs a metaxa an coke and let her have some 'peace and quiet' on the beach!

Thats the best I can do! (Well, you could send the milkman on holiday an hope she doesnt notice)

[Jenga]

I thought this was going to be some sort of swinging wife swapping post 

[SW]

If all else fails the British Sunday papers will turn up usually a day or so later.

BTW......if we get 9 points from the first 3 games I'll personally pay for you to stay there!

[louise1925]

I told my wife that I'd go away on holiday so long as I was back for the 11th. She arranged a cottage break in Northern Scotland - ending on the 11th. That's an early start then!

[baldrick]

The answer is simple. Just tell her you will not be going.

[Unemployed Coalminer]

Tell her the Exeter are the Grecians.

[tiggeralty]

Speaking as a wife of an ALTY fan, go and enjoy yourself there will be plenty of other matches to watch. She did a nice thing organising a holiday why spoil it.

[teasybeaver]

Speaking as a wife of an ALTY fan, go and enjoy yourself there will be plenty of other matches to watch. She did a nice thing organising a holiday why spoil it.

TYPICAL 

[Ballers]

Tiggeralty,

I've given you a goodwin for (unintentionally or not) reinforcing the exact steroetype of the cultural divide that is man and women.

Brilliant.

[harv]

speaking as an alty fan who missed alot of matches when i was in austria it is not that much of a problem as i found that we seemed to win alot more when i was there!!!

Maybe i should piss off there for the whole seaqson where is kirsty have to sell him my season ticket for a tenner!!!!

[Mallorca Alty]

If Greece is like Spain for Internet cafes. Simply find one and watch Sky sports latest scores for 2 hours for one euro an hour, or find an english bar. But that will probably showing some over-rated Premiership game.

[baldrick]

Tigeralty


Think of a football season like a soap opera. The story develops over a period of time. How would you like to miss a week of Corrie or whatever you watch? There is also the possibility that the team will slaughter someone 7-0, it won't happen often but it will happen one day for sure and imagine the disappointment in missing it. There are many other reasons for not missing a game. Maybe a Cantona incident or a brilliant performance from an individual or even a once in a lifetime event like a special live appearance from David Bowie announcing he has bought the club and will fund them all the way to the premier league or some T**t landing on the pitch with a parachute. A holiday should be something people plan together. I can sort of see your point about it being a nice thing to do, but i see it as totally inconsiderate.

[thegazelle]

i know iam going to get peaked alot here  but

this is a typical example of the ladies just not getting the 'bigger picture'

football is for men unless the girlies are serving in the bar ( no age limit) or if they want to watch the match they should be allowed to in bikinis( 25 and under)  whilst serving on the burger fan.

trust me i am right and before you ladies start i am all for equal opportunities, we run a hotel in the isle of man and we have a ladies only gymn. i dont want to be a member you can keep it as a ladies only gymn.

i do however relish my job as a cycling machine saddle cleaner.

thats knackerered my peake to goodwin ratio then

[baldrick]

Gazelle

As my ratings show i am not someone who cares what others think of me, but you get a Goodwin from me for telling the truth. Maybe we could have naked teenage girls wandering around selling programmes and golden goal tickets.