Interestingly, Mrs Peake must have had an inkling about how her son might develop as he grew up, when she had him baptised “Colin”.
By calling him so, his name became an anagram of
One Cak PileOr as we say up here in Bury when we’re shovelling faeces onto the dung heap:
“E.….pile cak on” (this is a local tradition along the lines of cheese-rolling and wellie-wanging).
When I worked this anagram out I was a bit concerned that the perceived spelling of the slang for excrement needed an extra “c” as in “cack”. I was hoping his full name might be Colin C Peake, but I can’t find if it is.
Even Colin R Peake would be helpful as he would then be
like one crap and would probably
crap like one.
Undeterred, I Googled “cak” and lo and behold the Dictionary of Playground Slang has it spelt as either “cack”, “cak” or “kak”, it being derived from the Afrikaans word “kak” meaning sh1t.
The full definition is here:
http://www.odps.org/glossword/index.php?a=term&d=4&t=2498Buoyed by this discovery and feeling like I was on a roll, I looked at the Urban Dictionary here:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cakWow! You may think these are even more appropriate, and there are 12 definitions to choose from. Apparently “cak” is also the slang word for a “Giant monster penis” or it could be an acronym for “Corporate Ass Kisser” or “a person of obnoxious or inept character” and perhaps best of all “Caks are those small little jalk wannabe bitches that everyone can, and wants to kick the sh1t out of all the time”
I won’t mention number 10 as I don’t want to get thrown off this list after my first post, but it leads to the phrase “Oh my f****** God, I think I may have just cakked myself”
Seriously though, I think Mr Cak Pile does sterling work for FGR, single-handed apparently, and I’m only joshing, Col mate. Where would we be without Colin “
like a ponce” Peake?
I feel a tribute song coming on……………….”Colin Peake is like a…..”
